Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Devotion - Tuesday of Holy Week

While the scriptures are clear that we cannot ever obtain salvation as a result of our own works, they are equally clear that any follower of Christ will show their devotion through a wide range of actions taken and options rejected.

Jesus tells us in John 12 that we are to sacrifice our personal, private life for the sake of the life that is lived in union with God. That life will involve caring for others, giving to the needs of others, working for the common good.

My reading reminded me this morning that the word preferred in scripture is that of "fruitfulness." We produce these good works not in order to obtain a personal merit but in order to further the fruitfulness of the Gospel message.

During Holy Week, it most appropriate that we remain introspective - considering the condition of our heart and our head. However, it remains an important question of how actively we are living out that to which our heart and head direct us. Where is the fruitfulness of our devotion being seen and experienced?

Monday, March 30, 2015

Devotion - Monday of Holy Week

Of all "the world's" devilish tools, controlling our calendars may be the most destructive and harmful. I fall victim to this; I contribute to the end result.

It is Holy Week. It is also the week which falls two weeks after break and three before the end of the term. It is a good week for a third exam, or for semester-long projects to begin the reporting stage. How, in the midst of all that, can appropriate attention be given to the religious and spiritual observances of this week? It will be difficult.

My insistence that Christian faith be lived in the world should be well engrained. So allow me to speak this morning of the opposite mode of observance. There is a need to assert our spiritual life and our religious devotion as superior to any and all earthly commitments. We do not extract ourselves from the world, but we must insist that our commitment to Christ set the agenda for our lives.

I will struggle, along with all of you, in finding the balance in my life over the next five days. There is a list of things that I must get done by Friday. But that list must be held in check by my prime commitment - by my devotion to the one who enters Jerusalem and exposes our unwillingness to integrate his message and the daily pattern of our lives.

Struggle with me. Speak of the difficulties. Find new paths by listening to how others are finding the balance in their lives.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Sermon - Passion Sunday

Isaiah 50:4-9a, Psalm 31:9-16, Philippians 2:5-11                                                                                   

 

His Appearance was Marred

It is a widely shared human characteristic to distance ourselves from those whom we find to be distasteful.  Rather than embrace those whose countenance differs from our own we are inclinded to avoid them. 

While the Gospel lesson for Passion Sunday changes from year to year, the other lessons do not.  We read Isaiah 50, Psalm 31, and Philippians 2 in all three years of the Lectionary Cycle.  While we are comfortable in switching the Gospel reading from year to year, EVERY year we read these other three lessons.  There is a message here – a message too important to ignore or overlook.

The message in those other readings is to call attention to the "maring" of Jesus' appearance.  The theme of these other readings is to note that among the reasons his followers abandon him is the simple reality that as he endured the torture and hung on the cross he did not have the look of one to whom others ought to flock and follow.

We tend to avoid those whose appearance is distasteful to us.  We are inclinded to distance ourselves from those who do not bear the marks of desirability.

The Suffering Servant Songs of Isaiah speaks of this.  The Suffering Servant is "dispised".  His treatment allows others to dismiss him and to turn their face from him.  They do not even want to look upon his countenance.   

 The reading from Phillipians insist that Jesus deliberately takes on the lowest form possible.  He does not consider his equality with God as something to be exploited.  Rather he takes on (willingly takes on) the form of a servant and a slave.

 Psalm 31 acknowledges what we may be reluctant to admit:  the one who suffers, suffers the pains of torture AND the suffering which comes with the realization that he has himself become "the scorn of my adversaries, a horror to my neighbors, an object of dread to my acquaintances."

 We would rather not be in the presence of those who have been beaten down and defeated.  When possible, we move away from those who bear the marks of adversity or distress.

 The message of the Christian story; the message for this week of Passion; the message in all this for you and for me is to realize that while our tendency is to separate ourselves from those whose presence makes us uncomfortable, the movement and action of God is to embrace them, and even to become one of them.

 How different such an approach is from what typically happens.  How contrary to conventional wisdom.  How unimaginable.

 We want to be around those who succed and those who are the beautiful folks.  Jesus yokes his life and his ministry with those who are rejected and beaten and ignored.  Jesus gives his attention to unattractive, to those possessed by demons, and he hangs out with persons most often considered the scum of the earth.

 The way in which Jesus dies is the clearest statement that Jesus doesn’t do this in order to see the tables reversed.  He does not pretend to care about those whom others would overlook in order to be rewarded.  Jesus understands himself to be one of them. 

 We need to be careful that our attraction to the beauty of Easter morning does not blind us to the harsh and ugly realities of the Passion.  We need to be careful that our desire to speak of bliss and joy is not at the expense of following the way of Jesus.

 Jesus takes on the form of a servant – not for a little while, not long enough for his humility to be duly noted – but continually.  And if we do anything other than follow that example we have cut short the message which he came to reveal.

 It is our tendency to avoid those who bear the marks of shame.  It is our typical pattern to distance ourselves from those who are not up and coming and making a difference in the world.  Jesus’ pattern was to make a difference in the lives of those whom the world had abandoned.

 Amen.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Devotion - Thursday, March 26

As Jesus approaches Jerusalem, he laments the Holy City as the place that rejects the prophets and puts to death those who are sent to her.

In Jeremiah 26 we learn a bit of that reality. Jeremiah is sent to Judah, to proclaim the word of God, but the people of God are not eager to hear this word. They prefer the oracles spoken in affirmation of their accomplishments - even though these self congratulatory pronouncements are erroneous.

What voices do we hear? To whom do we listen?

I was struck by what the Lutheran Campus Pastor in Berlin said about the ministry there. The message of the ministry and the mood among the students aligns them with the Confessing Church Traditions of Germany. We learned a bit about Dietrich Bonhoeffer while there, and of his stance against state sanctioned oppression.

Surely, God's Word is a word of comfort. But it is comforting precisely because it exposes God's insistence that all be looked upon as neighbor and thus worthy of our care and support.

The people of Judah had abandoned the word of God. But they didn't see how slowing, gradually that had happened. The people of Jerusalem had accepted a religious system in place of God's promises. But they found it impossible to break from that system and return.

What will be said of us and this generation, in the centuries to come? The season of Lent demands we ask such questions of ourselves and our church.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Devotion - Wednesday, March 25

This morning I was reading from John 10. Here Jesus speaks of his love for "the sheep." He talks about himself as the good shepherd of the sheep. As such, he does not flee when threats come (like wolves) nor does he abandon when the sheep stray or become lost. When the sheep are injured or diseased he attends to them and helps them back to health.

It is a matter of perspective, whether we can see these acts as expressions of the shepherd's love for us. Sometimes we are so injured that the attempts of the caregiver seem trite. Sometimes we are so hungry that the morsel of bread seems unable to satisfy. The good shepherd even understands our inability to perceive his presence and his work.

I would never try to argue with someone who is so hungry or so injured or so lost that they must see the attempts of the Shepherd to aid them. That would be like ignoring their wound. All I can do is speak of how I have experienced, even at the darkest of times, the pursuit of the Shepherd.

This is what I offer to you this morning. If you are able to see, in your own life, the ways in which the Good Shepherd is caring for you - speak of these things. Bear witness to them. You are never aware of how your speaking of such will aid your fellow travelers.

If you are unable to see the presence of a loving and caring God, hear my words. Not as some condemnation of the place you are along the path but as an affirmation that over and over the presence of God has made itself known and felt. If you have the inclination, cling to the hope that the treatment of your injuries will gain ground as the days pass.

"(The shepherd) calls his own sheep by name and leads them out."

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Devotion - Tuesday, March 24

Having just returned from our trip to Germany and the villages where Martin Luther lived and taught, it is difficult to read anything without seeing in the verses something of the Reformation message.  

This morning I was directed to Romans 10:1-13. Here, Paul makes his statements about salvation coming as a result of a conviction in our hearts and a confession on our lips. Salvation (he insists) does not come through our own attempts at righteousness but through the righteousness of God.

One of the things I saw on this trip that I had not seen before was the recently opened "Luther Death House" in Eisleben. I commented that it's mood was unlike anything I have ever seen in Germany. It is very interactive (a feature which will appeal to children and impressed our young adults on the trip.) This style of museum will hold the intention of the intended audience. It will pull them into the message of the Reformation and Luther's conviction that trusting in God rather than obedience to some code is what sets us free and saves us. Impressive. Well done. And the simplicity of the message surely one that all communities faith need to offer in an increasingly non-believing world.

Fearing God and even obeying God differs from trusting God. Loving God is tough when we allow ourselves to be at odds with a God who has something we want and seems reluctant to give it to us.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Devotion - Thursday, March 12

One of my most treasured possessions is the paper relief artwork my wife made for me in our first year of marriage. It has always hung on my office wall, as a reminder of her love and our shared partnership in making known the Word and will of God.

It is a fish, with a quote from Pope John XXIII. He is the Pope who presided over the opening sessions of the Second Vatican Council. The quote is based on John 8:32.

The bible verse reads: "You will know the truth and the truth will make you free."

What a wonderful statement. And, how true it is! The truth about God's love for us and the lengths to which God will go to redeem us does set us free. We do not need to worry - about what we will eat or what we will drink or what we will wear - or whether we are loved or accepted or cared for. We know the truth and the truth has set us free.

The quote on the piece of art reads: "The truth will make you free, but first it will make you miserable." This is also true. Miserable in that the truth is such a gift; yet it is a gift too seldom shared, received, and lived. So much of what we see could be changed if the truth were known and applied.

As a campus pastor - as a pastor - I see how the truth does change lives. I also, too often, see how the truth is just so wonderful it is difficult for folks to accept it and live it.

As I read John 8 this morning, I realized how blessed I am to be in a position to see the truth taking root and growing in the lives of all of you. I am grateful for that. I am also saddened when I encounter those wounds or fears which are just too deep to allow the truth a fingerhold. What I want is that we might all come to know this truth and live it - live it together.

NOTE:  Spring  break is next week at Clemson.  These offerings will return the following week.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Devotion - Wednesday, March 11

This morning I read Romans 5:1 - "Since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Being at peace with another means there is no tension or anxiety or worry or fear of misunderstanding.  Being at peace with another means do not doubt their Intention's toward us or their likely response.

Paul says we have peace with God.  We have it through Jesus; we have it because it is faith which justifies us and not our own ability to do or accomplish.

What good news this is!  So good it is difficult to accept it.  Last evening, at the student bible study, we were discussing the texts for the coming Sunday.  We will be hearing the Ephesians text on justification by grace.  And yet, as we discussed las night, many won't accept that message and once again insist that there is something we must do in order to receive this gift from God.

And so, they are not at peace, with God.

This whole section of Romans is Paul's attempt to point out that we receive this peace as a gift from God. If we had earned it, we would have reason to boast. But we have not.  It is God's gift to us.  There was a time when every sermon ended with "May the peace of God which passes understanding keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus our Lord."  It does "pass" understanding that God would love us this much.  It does pass understanding that God would be the actor to bridge the gap between us.

But so it is - and as a result - "we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Devotion - Tuesday, March 10

For those of you who have been long-term readers of these daily offerings, I apologize for returning to a subject upon which I have written many times in the past.  But it is one that needs constant and continual attention.

March 10 is my baptismal anniversary.

One of the souvenirs we brought back from previous trips to Germany (34 of us will make that trip next week - over spring break) were t-shirts and coffee cups which proclaimed (in German) Ich bin getauft - "I am baptized!"

Luther insisted that remembering our baptism was enough.  It was all that we needed to withstand the trails and temptations and hardships and perils.

I was born on February 10.  It was a difficult delivery for my mother.  She was carrying me and an ever growing tumor in her uterus.  The doctors had told her, when she first discovered she was pregnant, that she should allow them to remove the tumor.  She would not allow that to happen.

March 10 was the first time my mother and I left the house.  We had not gone to visit relatives, we had not been to town to get some pictures taken.  The first trip out of the house was to the church, for my baptism.

I am grateful for the way in which my mother and father and grandparents crafted my earliest days.  They gave me a gift beyond anything I could imagine.  My first trip, my first encounter with the world was to the font where water would be poured over my head and it would be loudly proclaimed that God loves me and would claim me.

Ich bin Getauft!  What more could I want or hope for?

Monday, March 9, 2015

Devotion - Monday, March 9


Today I was reading from John 7:14-36. There is a lot going on in these verses.  The thing which struck me this morning is the debate as to whether Messiah's origins are to be known by those whom Messiah comes to save.

The argument is that only one who comes from God (from a place unknown to us) can really save us from the hardship and death and fear which is known oh so well by us.  

The people knew Jesus, they knew where he had come from.  They knew that he (according to the Gospel) had no training or teaching.

So, many of them were inclined to dismiss him.

Jesus seems to understand. He points to his relationship with God by speaking in what seems like riddles.  He tells them "I go to him who sent me; you will seek me and not find me; where I am you cannot come."

This is the scandal (to return to yesterday's Gospel lesson) of Jesus as Messiah.  He is not what we would expect to arrive among us as Heaven's gift.  He looks too much like one of us; he acts too much like one of us.  Don't we tend to expect heavenly things to be totally and completely different?

But what if this is precisely what God intends Messiah to do - to help us see that His way is for us to live fully and completely and appreciatively the life He has given us?

What if our goal isn't to escape, but to live this life in a way that matters - matters to us, matters to our neighbor, matters to God.

Is the phrase still tossed around about being so heavenly minded as to be of no earthly good?  Any heavenly mindedness that Jesus had certainly did not thwart the good he did here on earth.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Sermon - 3rd Sunday in Lent


John 2:13-22 & I Cor 1:18-25

 

       The Foolishness which is Christ
 

Don't you just love the story of Jesus driving the money changers from the temple?  It appeals to us for so many differing reasons - some good, some not so good.  We talked a lot at the Tuesday evening bible study about whether or not Jesus does all this out of anger.  Hannah said how much she liked thinking of Jesus showing anger.  References to Jesus as one who knew no sin do very little for us.  Show me a Jesus capable of losing his temper and I am a lot more likely to connect his life to my own. 


The story appeals to me with its acknowledgment of the power which resides in a right conviction.  Picture this in your head - there is Jesus, one little man in the midst of so many strong and muscular individuals, yet the strength of his convictions prevents anyone from stopping him.  Because he was right, his actions are unopposed even by those with greatly superior physical strength.  
 

The story of Jesus driving the money changers from the temple appeals to us for a number of differing reasons.  Some good; some not so good.
 

Take for instance those who read this story and immediately begin to consider who Jesus would drive from the temples which we call Christian churches.  Some people read this story and from it derive permission to forcefully remove from the church those whom they consider objectionable.  Money changers may still appear on the lists of those to be excluded.  But others are readily added.  Those with different lifestyles; those with the wrong political opinions; those who make use of the ancient creeds, those who do not employ the creeds.  How often do we see the actions of Jesus as an excuse to exclude from the temple those whom we find objectionable?
 

This morning’s lessons point to another group who are often consider persona non grata in the church.  The reading from I Corinthians is all too often read as an indication that those who which to apply intellect or rational thought to the Christian experience are wrong.  Jesus’ driving of the money changers from the temple is linked to Paul’s discussion of the misuse of wisdom and suddenly there develops this notion that Christian faith is all about the heart and in no way involves the head.  True, it is the experience of God which brings us faith.  But thinking it through and rationally studying the scriptures are also essential parts of the experience of being a disciple of Christ.
 

I have gotten lax in my encouragement to you to start carrying your bibles to worship.  Today is another day when it would be very helpful to have them.  In I Corinthians 1: 22 Paul writes:  Jews demand signs and Greeks desire wisdom, but we proclaim Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles. Some, mistakenly, take these words as permission drive intellect and reason from our religious life in same way that Jesus drove the money changers from the temple.  Is he trying to tell us that God not only demands the sacrifice of our pagan idols but that God also demands the sacrifice of our minds?  I don't think so. 
 

The interesting aspect of all this is that scholarship itself clears up the confusion.  If we use a little intellectual insight, we can see that St. Paul is not advocating that we give up good reason, he merely wants our reason to be pointed in the right direction.
 

The word which causes so much trouble is the one translated for us as foolishness.  We read this and too rapidly assume that Paul is telling us that wisdom and reason serve no purpose what-so-ever.  We read into his words a belief that it is foolish for anyone to try and make sense out of the Jesus event.  But Paul isn't talking about foolishness in the way we are most like to consider something foolish.  The word is more appropriately translated "scandal."  The gospel message Paul preached was not foolish - it was scandalous, it was offensive, shocking, considered improper.
 

To teach that God had entered human from - not simply walked about the earth with humans, but actually taken on our flesh - was scandalous, it was offensive to the Gentile mind.  The Greek gods would often interact with humans, but doing so was more a matter of play.  Never would one of the God's descend so low as to take on our existence.
 

To teach that a God would love subjects so deeply was scandalous.  The gods of Paul's gentile world played with their subjects, tricked them and sometimes tortured them.  Paul was claiming that the God of the Hebrews loved the creatures - loved them enough to become one of them.  This was foolishness, it was a scandal, it is offensive.
 

We proclaim Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and (scandalous) to Gentiles.
 

Paul isn't saying that it is inappropriate for us to use our minds in the experience of faith.  He is pointing out the offensive nature of God's love and sacrifice for us.  He isn't saying that we should never attempt to understand the experience of faith or it teachings.  He is warning us that God's actions in Christ will not fit the expected course.  God's compassion for us will surprise us and cause God to act in ways we would never expect.
 

We see somewhat more clearly what Paul is saying when we read the whole of this letter to the church at Corinth.  Our text begins at verse 18.  In verses which immediately preceding, Paul encourages his readers to set aside all dissension.  It has been reported to Paul that there has been quarreling among them.  Some claimed to belong to Paul, others to Appolos or Cephas.  Paul responds by asking "Was (I) crucified for you?  Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?  I am thankful that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius ... For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power. 
 

Paul then moves into his discourse on "wisdom."  Quoting Isaiah, Paul writes, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart."  The verses which serve as our reading for today are an aside.  They express a thought, but are not the issue to which Paul responds.  He is calling wisdom into question, not because it serves no purpose in religious experience, but because some have preferred their rational conclusions to the scandalous act of Jesus dying on the cross. 
 

In chapter 2, Paul will continue his insistence that we focus on this foolish act of a God who loves us.  He writes:  When I came to you ... I did not come proclaiming the mystery of God to you in lofty words or wisdom.  For I decided to know nothing among you expect Jesus Christ, and him crucified.  And I came to you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling.  My speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God.
 

And then we get a verse which is most helpful.  Paul writes, Yet among the mature we do speak wisdom.  Not wisdom of the age, but the wisdom of God's tremendous love for us.  We speak of the wisdom of a God who would love us enough to take on our form and die for us.
 

Paul does not teach that the desire to know is inconsistent with faith.  Rather he reminds us that human wisdom and knowledge will always stumble over the cross of Jesus.  An explanation as to why God would use that instrument of torture as our means for salvation can never be found.  It is a scandal - even for us.  But scandalous or not, it is the way that God has chosen.
 

I have to be very careful that I don't do the very thing which I criticize in others.  I do not want to drive from the church those who insist upon blind faith.  But I will act with a high degree of convic­tion as I proclaim the scandalous message of Christ crucified.  Far from being a simple and pleasing story, Jesus' path to Jerusalem upsets our sensibilities and offends our notions of appropriateness.  We cannot reach the cross through intellectual inquiry, but unless we struggle with its offensive nature we will most likely never appreci­ate the gift it represents.
 

Three days after Jesus is hung on the cross he raises from the grave and announces that we too will rise.  As wonderful as that promise may sound it really is only the icing on the cake.  The first chapter of John's gospel captures the true marvel of what God has done.  Remember that part about God so lov(ing) the world...  It is God’s tremendous love for us, which leads to Jesus’ dying on the cross which stands at the core of what it means to be a Christian.
 

Offensive, scandalous - who could believe that God would care so deeply about us?
 

Amen.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Devotion - Thursday, March 5

The advantage to writing every day is I have plenty of opportunity to cover a wide range of topics.  The worry is that if someone picks up on one message, but not others, they may form partial conclusions as to what my theological system is like.

One topic I avoid is the issue of "Hell."  Those who have participated in Bible Studies with me have probably heard my views on this topic.  I want to ask you to realize that a few lines here cannot do justice to the topic.

John 5:29 is one of the verses which I have to keep in mind, because it speaks a differing message that what God has lead me to think about "Hell." This is one of the verses which implies a double resurrection - one to life, and one to to judgement.  

Rob Bell released a book a few years back titled "Love Wins."  In it, he voiced my convictions regarding hell.  He asked "If God gets what God wants, and what God wants is for all to be saved, then wouldn't that be what happens?"  (Paraphrased)  

Karl Rahner, Roman Catholic theologian, said his devotion to scripture meant he had to acknowledge there is a Hell, but that his experience of God lead him to believe no one was condemned to be there.

Hell is too often used as the threat to motivate allegiance.  This is, in my opinion, clearly a misuse of the biblical verses on hell.

Too often, avoiding Hell is the defining trait rather than seeking Heaven.

Hell is an interesting topic.  It is far from being a simple one.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Devotion - Wednesday, March 4

"What ever happen to sin?"  A dear and faithful member of the congregation would bemoan to me (and the other pastors) that we did not often enough speak directly and openly about the realities of sin.

She was not wanting to belittle or to create undo anxiety in the lives of others; she understood that the only reason to turn to God for forgiveness was an awareness of our need for such.  The sin must be named before it can be addressed.

I am reading from the opening chapters of Jeremiah and the opening chapters of Romans.  Both speak of sin.  Both call upon the reader to remember how God's people have turned aside in the past and to avoid the same pitfalls in our own day.

We fail in so many ways to life up to the promises we have made to God.  We fail in so many ways to commend the faith within us.  We fail to be the persons God knows us to be and we desire to be.

As followers of Jesus we can admit our failings without fear that such an admission will be used against us.  As followers of Jesus we can admit our failings with the confidence that an open and honest evaluation of our lives will lead us to reconciliation and wholeness.

Nothing has happened to sin.  It is still with us and among us and in us.  So too is the promise of God and this sin will not separate us.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Devotion - Tuesday, March 3

Like the other prophets, Jeremiah spoke words intended to reclaim the people to the word and will of God.  We tend to associate prophets with those who predict the future.  Biblical prophets spoke of coming events only in that they could see the end result of how the people were acting.  They knew the word of God and they understood the results of turning aside from the promise with which God created us.

In Jeremiah 2, the prophet finds it difficult to understand how the people could have forgotten God. Through him, God asks, "What wrong did your fathers find in me that they went far from me?"

How could this happen?  How could we forget?

"Can a maiden forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire?"

There are many things (a great many things) which we never forget.  There are many things (a great many things) which are forever present in our hearts and on our minds.  Those things are important, for some reason.  Surely, it is also important for us to remember God and God's goodness and God's presence in guiding our lives? 

Do we become like the people of ancient Israel?  Do we forget our God while remembering our ornaments and or attire?

It doesn't take a prophet to see where such a poor memory is likely to lead us.  That is a future easily seen by any who have eyes.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Devotion - Monday, March 2

There are many aspects of Christian theology which can be understood from a philosophical perspective.  There are many of the insights of scripture which can greatly benefit from research and reflection.  But, there are many of our core convictions which will remain in the realm of mysticism.  We cannot explain why we believe, we simply believe.

I was reminded of this recently, as I worked through a sticky theological assertion.  I realized that my views where formed by a whole host of past experiences and readings.  The opinions which were set opposite had also, no doubt, been formed as a result of a whole host of supporting events.

When asked "Why do you have faith in Christ?" there are many things I would say in reply.  But in the end, if it is my "faith" of which I speak, I must admit that faith is itself the reply.  It is Christ who has called me and convicted me and convinced me.  The faith affirms my faith.

Not a very satisfying answer; particularly in an academic community.  But an answer I must be willing to share.  It is not I do act, but God who acts on me.  As to why God would move me in this way and not more others (or all others) I cannot say.  I can only admit that this is the case.