Devotion - Tuesday, October 25

A small number of us attended last night's Interfaith Dialogue Dinner. It was an enjoyable evening. After sharing a meal, we broke into two groups and discussed topics identified by the participants. Our sub-group had representatives from the Christian community and from Islamic communities.

One of the topics we picked at random from the slips of paper was "Divorce." We found, for the most part, agreement between us. We realized, as persons talked, that extreme views are held by followers of Jesus as well as those who have chosen the path of Mohammad.

One "Christian" held the position that this is not allowed. Another, from a Roman Catholic background, raised the issue of annulments. The Muslim student with us pointed out that divorce was allowed in her communities, and that contrary to what many Americans think, it is an option for women as well as for men. An older Islamic gentleman, pointed out that a male can divorce by saying "I divorce you" three times, publicly, but that a women must go to the courts for her pronouncement. This slightly differing interpretation brought out some additional views from the Christian perspective - views in which divorce was more acceptable.

This morning, I replayed the discussion in my mind after reading the appointed text. Still reading from Matthew 5, the verses contain Jesus' words about divorce. He speaks of it as unacceptable.

Acknowledging that my primary audience for these writings are the students, I want to use these brief sentences to address the things which are most likely to be of concern to you.

First, some of you come from divorced families. You already understand why Jesus would speak harshly of divorce. You know the tear which occurs, not merely in the lives of those who divorce but also in the lives of those who share life with them.

At the same time, you are aware of the heartache and pain which preceded the divorce. And in most instances, you come to acknowledge that the tearing apart of lives has allowed for more peaceful lives to emerge.

Second, I would lift up for you the importance of understanding the covenant of marriage and encourage you to engage in many conversations about it - long before you are anywhere near saying "I do." We make too many assumptions about our understanding of the bond made by the exchange of rings and vows. Jesus attempts to warn us of the disastrous effects of making bad relationship choices. You are likely to have made a few of these yourself, or seen bad choices in the lives of roommates or friends.

We need to understand that marriage is more than an extended date. It is a pledge to build a life together. It is a promise to support and care for the other. It is an earthly opportunity to experience unwavering devotion and commitment. Those traits are more easily shared when they are linked to the One whose unwavering devotion and commitment gives rise to our faith life.

I commend these inter-faith dialogues to you. They are revealing; they also create an opportunity for you to reflect on issues which are very important, but are too infrequently discussed.